Death of a Dream

 "A dream is a wish your heart makes." 

-Walt Disney

Enjoying a double rainbow on the fence in Idaho.

Leaving Idaho the first time was so difficult.  That small corner of the world had been the only home Zoey and I have known, and where John and I bought our first home and became a family.  But the second time I left, I felt less the loss of my home as I focused on moving forward.  It feels good that we are a close little family once again and moving forward in our plans for the future.

In front of the house-1 year old-new landscaping.

Despite all the excitement of moving forward, we are sad to leave the place where so many great memories were made.  Our first home renovations and the many challenges they presented helped us grow to learn who we are and what we are capable of.  Our daughter was born in that house, slept her first night in the comfort of our home, said her first words and took her first steps down the hallway.  Our first, and second (stupid killer dogs), flock of hens were raised to laying age and provided us with much childhood education, entertainment, and delicious breakfasts.  

The hardest thing to leave behind is our dreams. Now that we've accepted an offer on our house (if all goes well we close the end of February), we mourn the death of dreams we had for our family-sized home and what it could be. 
 Update: We closed the end of March.

Now the chicken coop is only inhabited by wasps; the trees we planted will now be inherited by another, their fruit eaten by other children, not our own; the garden will lie fallow another season; the deck off the master bedroom will never be; and the beautiful renovations, some realized, will not be enjoyed by us.

Feeding the hens.

C'est la vie, sometimes, some of our images of the future change.  The picture you worked so hard to paint, the details that were so important suddenly don't look right when you see the whole thing come together, so you decide to scrap it and rethink everything.  For us the picture was pretty good and so close to our dream, except, we were so busy working to make ends meet that we were never there to enjoy the home or our little family.....time to rethink, re-plan, and redraw.

Good-bye old friend.

We are daring to act on a dream, which means we must leave the other dream behind. Our old dreams laid to rest, we look forward to a new future, a new home, new plans, new adventures, and new dreams.  Midland, Texas is not our dream, but merely a steppingstone toward the realization of our future yet to come.  As I revealed recently in my blog, our dream is to move somewhere exotic, explore new lifestyles, climates, and cultures.  Untold hours of research has pointed us to Belize, Central America, but we fail to commit to it completely, knowing our future is open, and winds of change may catch our sails and blow us towards other or even many shores.

The Long Road Home

"Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is Home." 

 -Matsou Basho

In Idaho, I didn't have internet and was too busy to bother finding it, so the last four months will be condensed into a few blogs.  

Leaving our new home in Midland, Texas was difficult, but I knew we had unfinished business with our home in Idaho.  The trip would be less daunting since I planned picking up Donna, John's mom, in Tucson and bringing her back to Idaho for a visit and a bit of support as I tackled the beast that is John and I's first home.  

Driving into the Magic Valley in May after spending several winter months in the deserts of Texas, I realized how beautiful my childhood home really was.   Green was everywhere and so many flowers were in bloom, but the best part of Idaho was being greeted with all the love of my family and friends, it was so nice to see them again, but this was not a social visit.

I hoped to finish the house in about two months, so I quickly started tackling projects in the house and realized some projects which were not on my list ad to be added, that would mean I needed more time and money.  The largest project added to the list was all new plumbing, sewer and water, to the entire home after discovering some leaking pipes and realizing how antiquated they were.   We also moved 1500lbs of trash and 1000lbs of metal including 2 old furnaces (the metal was recycled) from the crawl space.  Apparently in the 60's it was too much work to go to the dump so the crawl space was the obvious choice.

Four months later, with the help of friends, family, and contractors, I had cleaned out the home and property (which involved selling the hot tub, another 2 day yard sale, a lot of muscle and many trips to the dump), three new windows, remodeled two bathrooms completely, finished the cabinets in the kitchen, finished a bedroom in the basement, put down a moisture barrier in the crawlspace, put in all new cherry laminate and carpet, and painted, painted, painted and PAINTED. 

Amidst it all, my sister Karlie decided she too was going to join us in Texas (YAY!) and moved into my home to ease her transition.  Although moving her into my already tore up house made me adjust my life once again, the help she offered was a life saver.  Also deserving special thanks are the following:  my mother-in-law Donna who helped me dig in and get started without getting overwhelmed; my parents, Dan and Brenda who helped me get the sprinkler system up, sent people to help me, and helped me with various projects along the way; S. Hurley who is the most motivated contractor I ever met; S. Partridge who laid the most beautiful laminate ever; my brother Micah and Jessica who willingly volunteered to lend their hands; my brother-in-law Brandon who did a beautiful job on tile and took my trash to the dump more times than I can count; my aunt Vonnie who was always willing to help and knows the ins and outs throwing a sucessful yard sale; and Bianca, Vince, and Joel who showed up at a moments notice to give me a hand when I needed them most.  Sorry if I missed a few people, but know that all the help (paid and unpaid) was so appreciated and made this project so much easier to tackle.

John, who was working in Texas day and night to finance the remodel, was able to make the 24 hour on-the-road journey up (in 26 hours) to visit us in the middle of our great project.  During the five days he was there he installed the crown in the kitchen, built and installed the last bedroom closet system (8 doors and 8 drawer fronts), helped me make a few tile decisions, and helped my sister find a fifth-wheel for herself.  He left me to finish the project and hauled back Karlie's future home in another nonstop journey through the U.S. to start another long work week in Texas.

All along Zoey handled the madness in stride. She stayed out of the dangerous work areas and made friends with everyone coming in and out of our home.  She helped when she was able, and I tried to take time out to show her some fun, but unfortunately I was often busy with coordinating or doing a project myself, so she got a little TV addicted during the course of the project.                                                                           

 The last few weeks were a mad rush to finish as much as possible and pack everything into storage.  We packed, painted, cleaned and polished (once again, thanks Karlie).  I still felt there was so much I could have done, but some can be left to the new owners and their imagination and it was time for me to go home. I put up a For Sale by Owner sign, handed over the keys to family and we headed out, hoping the last four months of hard work will pay off.